Leaving this world – what we leave here? What is lost?

Transience is one of the most painful, most incomprehensible, most mystical aspect of our reality. Why I say this? Well, in this year we’ve buried four very important people in my family. The void we feel is still unhealed.

Wise masters say that nothing in this material world lasts, nothing. Everything that gets born will die one day. Inevitably. Mercilessly. This way or the other. Change is the only constant thing we know. However, even though I am aware of these, it keeps causing me hardships to accept transcience. I must remind myself again and again: what we feel is our reality here, is no more than illusion, the play of our mundane minds, something that we will be leaving behind one day.

I think I should be grateful for the time we were allowed to spend together with my loved ones. For the days, for the months, for the years. Yes, it happened that we failed to do our best, but we loved each-other. And that’s what matters. I feel joy when I think at those who left me, because I was so lucky to know them.

If there is anything I learned from my past life memories, it is this: knowing we are souls is always a game changer. Then, suddenly we see ourselves endless, limitless and immortal. Just like all the other people, creatures around us are endless, limitless and immortal. Pieces and owners of the whole universe.

I wrote this poem in 1997 (26.05):


Under the air of
your real clear mind
I’ve found something
there deep deep down

precious chrystal stones
smell of fairies
and used-up things
colours of identity

more down
the silence
you yourself
a man of eternity.

Heaven exists, that’s the place we naturally belong. Here comes my favourite Buddhist picture about the taming of our lower natures (vital self, ego, mind):

Taming the wild mind (Monk = Awareness; Goad and Noose = Attentiveness; Dark Elephant = Dull Attention; Dark Monkey = Restless Mind leading Attention here and there; White Elephant = Alert Attention following the Self; White Monkey = Calm Mind; Monkey Disappeared = Death of Mind)