The days keep flying by and we arrived again to the end of a year. Time had come to draw conclusions, to calculate the results, to count all the pros and cons, the successful and the sad moments.
Altogether I think this was a good year for me, though with no breakthrough events. I did not publish another book or sell a script, and I haven’t switched to a new job either. But I learned a lot, so I feel, about myself and about human nature in general. I was building daring plans and though none of them was particularly successful so far I think things are not altogether lost (or any hopeless). I look at this period as though it was a kind of preparation.
The highlights of the year in a nutshell: the birth of my little nephew, visiting Rome, battling with aquarium disaster, touring lavender fields near the Balaton, having a holiday in Poprad, getting flowers, completing puzzles, trying+buying Beyond Burger, making new friendships, seeing Transylvania, baking approved muffins.
I wrote a study about local turtle’s status (Emys orbicularis), plus drafted a project on how to save unwanted turtles and local turtles with one move. This was the most important thing I did, I guess. I do not have a firm yes or no from the interested association, but, whatever their reply would be, my plan is more expert now, more elaborated than it was. I keep working hard to make it come true – to build that turtle sanctuary with a vegan guesthouse. This is my goal for the next year.
Oh, well, I also want a house for myself where I will have enough room for my turtle daughters! 😀
Loads of things happen around me, week by week. I do my best to catch up with them, though it is really stressful. I got a new job, and a new flat to live in. As to my Protector Project, I submitted my manuscript’s Hungarian version for edition. I think it will be published in October. 🙂
This development makes me happy, however, I feel still very far from living the life I dream of… What would it be like? Making interviews, and meetups, building the turtle shelter and selling the Wingless angels script… At least I’d like to have some rest and good sleep…
I’ve spent fifteen days in a very special meditation retreat near a southern Taiwanese city, 10000 kilometres away from my home. We were doing karmakiller meditation for many hours each day, to help elevating ourselves, our loved ones, and the planet. I learned here that the island gave home to numerous saints and Buddhist (and non-Buddhist) masters in the past. We glimpsed shrines and temples wide around wherever we went. One could feel something sacred being present in the air… This is one of the most famous Buddhist places close to our retreat:
I saw a lot of gekkos and lizards on the walls and the trees, almost every day. They were so cute!
Our flight was pleasant with the Emirates and quite long, the whole journey took more than 25 hours: Budapest – Dubai, Dubai – Taipei, Taipei – Kaohsiung. We ordered vegan meals when booked the seats and we were happy to see they could cook for us – our food was labeled as strict vegetarian.
My fear from flying almost fully disappeared and on our way back I sat to the window. I could see huge part of Mesopotamia, the Euphrates and the Tigris rivers, and the lines of mountains as we progressed towards (and through) Asia Minor. Many of the places where I once lived lied under us… I am so grateful for the experience!
My expectations? Oh. I had many: to identify the places, to see Nic and us there, to ask instructions. I know very well that places are changing as time goes by, new houses get erected, old ones get demolished or reconstructed. I was prepared not to find anything that’s familiar. I was wrong.
My strongest first dejá-vu feeling came when I faced this monumental building. Its name is Justiz Palast and it functions as a courthouse I believe. I certainly visited it in the old times, and not just once… My second powerful dejá-vu happened when we drove along the wide and long-long Leopoldstrasse. We hit the traffic jam, because it was 5 pm, but the street looked very familiar. The whole time I had the impression that I am not at a foreign place. It was curious, and also a happy sensation on a way.
We were able to find up our old home, the old house. The street was oddly familiar, even with some of the modern details here and there. The fence and the walls looked fairly renovated, and probably the people who dwell there take care of the inside of it as well. We found that at the back side the balcony still exists, just like the little veranda part at the bottom is still there. Although the house was painted probably numerous times, and the sitebuilding is made bigger, it still has the original characteristics.
On the collage:
up left: the house from the front (the garden and the trees disappeared, but a few houses away we saw similar tall pines like the ones we had)
bottom left: back of the house
middle: this is the place where Nic waited to see us the last time we met, almost facing the house
top right: the neighbouring street, we used to meet here with Nic while I was pregnant
bottom right: a forest like area near the house, today there is a sport complex behind it (for football trainings and other)
I show the most important places on a map:
Here are pictures from the inner city. I have been walking at these places countless times in the past, alone, with others or with Nicholaus.
On the collage:
top left: Hofgarten
bottom left: Frauenkirche church with the famous two towers – from Nic’s flat they were visible
bottom central: Hofgarten walkway
top right: Augustine Brau Restaurant
bottom right: Englischer Garten
My father’s city home (and office in one) was near the Königsplatz-Justizpalast area in an older, neoclassicist building which stands a huge chance of having been destroyed during the world war or later. Where my mother lived, I don’t know – my guess is she lived southern from the city in our family curia. At least the landscape around Rosenheim looked very familiar.
I was aware almost continuously to my upper-self connection to the other souls’ who shared my life experience there in the old times. The bond exists, unchanged, wherever they go, whatever they do… I believe, there is a constant contact between souls. Even between souls living in the same area, and even though they aren’t related or may be nursing dislike towards the other.
Thanks God, I am surrounded by kind, supportive people, who DID understand the importance of this trip. My mom, who was my daughter and my dad who was my first son. So it wasn’t only my journey, it was OURS. I was like a representative. As all who had been involved in my life back then, certainly some of them (and in the deepest inner all of them) might be aware that something amazing was going on right then – while I was there, recalling our common stories.
There was something strange about Nic before and during this journey. I caught him trying to communicate a few days before, and in meditation I saw him crying (well, we have the means to communicate through our old selves, but I don’t want to go into this now). He expressed his wish to come with me, and I agreed. Every evening when we were back in the hotel I lit a candle and meditated (anyway, I do it every day). The communication between his old self and my old self remained almost unbroken while we were in the city, and I perceived a particularly powerful presence when walking in the Hofgarten. It felt like holding hands… Certainly that happened many times in the past there. All in all the journey helped both of us, so I feel. When Satuday morning I sat on the railjet to travel to Austria I saw him in front of my inner eye, and Nic was smiling. This is just great! 🙂
Was I able to see past events? Did I find some revelations? Or synchronicity? Yes I was able to. It was quite curious to witness how issues of the past and issues of the presence meet. It was like time travel. Honesty, I see some videos on the net, saying people are coming to us from the future. If I should comment it, I’d wrote: BS. For time travel you don’t need kitschy equipment. Any real yogi would tell you that.
How to go on?
I gratefully thank the opportunity of traveling to my once-home. I am grateful it could touch my heart, I know this is a privilege. I will continue following my heart. That’s all. I will continue healing and helping others to heal. Now on a higher level… This IS positive ending. I successfully created a better memory-ending: now I have better last memories of that city. And looking at the places I can confirm one thing: for the long run only love remains. Everything else goes by…